Monday, June 8, 2009

Freaking out... Again!

We put on offer on the house and they counter-offered and we countered back and now we are waiting....
It's only been since about 6pm yesterday but time is warping and I feel so anxious. I'm terrified that their agent is working overtime to get another offer in above ours and that's why we haven't heard back.
I spend all day everyday telling other people to breathe and to find their peace but right now the only place I'm finding mine is in crying on Ellie's couch while she plays me calming music and attempts to make me laugh... to my surprise, she is able. I feel like six months ago I didn't really want a wedding OR a house and then all of a sudden I'm clawing my way towards both just as tirelessly and unceasingly as any one person ever could. We've only been engaged 2 weeks and it feels like centuries. I keep saying aloud that I'm putting the wedding stuff on hold until the house stuff is settled and then I try desperately to pretend I am in fact doing that but inside my mind is still in constant motion... until eventually I can't contain it anymore and it all starts spilling from me and I'm embarrassed by my lack of restraint again.
Keep us in your thoughts. Pray I don't annoy everyone around me to the point that I don't have to worry about a wedding because everyone will disown me by then.

-posted with help from my robot


  1. aww come on its ok to be freaking out a little; these life changing events!!
    after you've had a bit of a little freak out then take a deep breath and say STOP IT! :) haha ok i know its not that easy but we choose how we feel so you can choose to feel calm and accept that whatever happens with the house it is for the better good and as for the moment it is what it is so dont be too hard on yourself! and hey the ones around you love you you know that!
    many many hugs and good vibes to you! we dont always understand the process but things work out as they should more hugs more hugs!

  2. You know how the sun comes up every morning . . . just like it's supposed to? And the birds sing without anyone telling them they should? That's because there's order in the universe - and it gives us exactly what we are supposed to have to give our life the same order. So relax into the process - and always remember to celebrate the temporary!